December 14th, 2018

50 Day Question Challenge 2018 - Day 33

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33. Is home for you a place or a feeling? Describe that place or describe that feeling.
It's definitely a place.  I belief my identity is very much wrapped up in where I live.  I am about 15 minutes walk away from the beach and about ten minutes away from woods and estuary.  It is the sunrise over the water, the mist over the quay.  The winter glass green of the sea, the dark sand that turns white in the summer. Obviously it is not always the John Miller idyllic view, but it comes close.  It can be far more sublime than that - as caressing as a lover, but also corrosive with howling wind and rain.

I wouldn't be anywhere else.

Henhouse - the End is Nigh


Theoretically, it was my last day at the henhouse today. We will be called back on a daily basis until the work runs out, last day for the full timers is the 21st - we are meant to be gone by then. My colleagues are doing a double pay shift tomorrow; I will be doing a 7-11 on Sunday, plus Monday with overtime. As I said, there is nothing fixed after that. Some left today and in some small part, I envy them. However, I need to work to the limit, so we can survive til the middle of January. As I have said before, we are all so very tired. Some are plodding on as if nothing changes, others are at the end of their tether across the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels. There are a couple who are genuinely not well, but carry on regardless, others are in a flux as either their folks at home have been unwell, or in two cases, lost their family members within the last few weeks.

Mentally and spiritually, I am fine. I can even go for a walk in my head from time to time. Physically, I am a wreck - too tired to do much more than work, eat and sleep. Emotionally, I am having a confusing time. Again, it is linked to tiredness and the pressure cooker atmosphere that we all exist in. Sometimes, I feel swamped, sometimes, I feel like an island. Kept alive on a raft of sweets and multivitamins, kept sane by Spotify and/or ipod and the ability to escape the insanity for half an hour, when I can sandwich-bond with the jackdaws. It will all be over soon. I will be fine about it, but right now, I profess to being a little tearful over it all. A couple of days down the line, I will be over it and back to looking for work again.

How strange life can be...

Picture is unrelated, other than than the face that I share a few sentiments with the reclining goth - right now, I think I can sleep pretty much anywhere, too.