January 1st, 2018


I was partly joking about the 'Flat Squirrel' scenario. As a rule, I don't have new year's resolutions, as I find them almost impossible to keep, especially when the deep of winter sets in. I do, however, ponder on the nature of change, because (at least with me) change is more a gradual thing. Seeds of thought start now and begin to germinate in spring.

A couple of days ago, I was contemplating how 2017 went. I then realised just how much I missed doing my degree. I had been a full time scholar for five years and at the end of it, I was looking forward to just doing things that normal people did with their families and friends. I hadn't realised just how much I had changed as a person;nor indeed how much my identity was bound by books, cats, tea and Classic FM. When you don't have the predictability of work and the habits that support - well, you become bereft.

I am hoping that I get a job that reflects my degree, as I have found that the minimum wage jobs (if available) are doable, but not sustainable in the long term. I need a job that will expand my skillset and positively challenge me.

I hadn't realised that there had to be fulfilment - I really thought that just a job would be enough. I NEED a job, that is for sure, but not one which is soul destroying. So fingers crossed that I get something that will fit my equation of happiness.

Hubby and I also need to stand our ground with certain individuals. To cut a long story short, we had our Christmas totally eclipsed by family members thinking that they could just take over - and effectively did without us noticing that they had until too late. We are laid back, silly, soft buggers and we found that out to our cost. I have now got to the point of saying 'Whoa, stop!' Thing is, we didn't even see it happening and thats the scary part. We reason and are reasonable, therefore we tend to be blindsided when others (especially loved ones) just land things on us and expect us to deal with it.

Finding that 'Happy Place' might be difficult, but I need to get there and soon. Meanwhile, Happy New Year to you all.