June 12th, 2015


Crabby. Can't sleep, been couped up all day, my limbs ache. Serious problems re tendons. I have insomnia again. Worked up and worried that either my body will give in, or that myhead will crack and my brain will fall out.

Not a good time to have a restless night. Humbug.

Answer for question 4408.

Do you have something you've always wanted to tell someone but never had the chance to say? Use this post to write an open letter to someone and finally tell them what you've always wanted them to know.
Dear Long Ago,

I am so sorry in regards to the way I behaved. I was pressured into making decisions that I was ill-prepared to do, but I felt that those decisions were the only ones I ould have made. On reflection, I realise that it could have been handled very differently, but we can all experience from hindsight, can't we?There isn't a day that goes past without me feeling regret - on many levels and the consequences that spiralled from that decision.

My only defence is that at that time, I was too immature to understand the ramifications of my behaviour. I really wish that I could have apologised to you in person, but it is too late now and besides, I don't know whether my apology wouldn't be interpreted a different way and would have made things worse.

I hope that on some level, you forgave me. Regardless, I am sorry for what I did to you.

ILS: Bluebeard - Final Cut (Day 6)

It is not until I read part of the mini diss to an 'informed friend' that I realise just how much more work/clarification is needed.  I know if I can make this argument work, then I will be very proud of my achievements.  Things hang in the balance - like not a lot of time to pull this off.

Lillies are relevent - thematic in Carter's book.

If I am successful in what I am undertaking, this could be my best piece of work yet. Or, it could be 'just ok' and I suffer what i term to be the 'Wuthering Heights Effect' circa January 2013.

I am feeling the strain a bit.  I have worked very hard today and I am actually feeling a little sick. I will plough on for now, but might just call it a day if I don't feel I am getting anywhere.  I DO feel that I have constructed the argument well enough, of which this the whole premiss of this assignment hangs on.

I am absolutely doubled up, but I have finished the first full draft of the mini diss - all 5,333 words of it.  Am leaving it for a day before I cut swathes into and/or add academic 'sprinkles' but for now, I am done with it.

Onward tomorrow with redrafting the AIS portfolio :-)