November 25th, 2014

Bluebeard - Reflective Commentary

Basically, I am reading the same 319 words and suddenly my vocabulary has dissolved into infinity.  I feel like I am literally smacking rocks together. A form of "I can't 'brain' today, I have the 'dumb'". Trying to get across how I could have loused the PP up less, is depressing.  I did well, but needed a stronger angle on what I needed to say.  Very valid points - if I had slightly longer time to reconsider, I might have gone back to it and done exactly what had been suggested.  Instead, I got so sick looking at it, I decided it was now or never.

Plus ::: We have been told that we have 12 days to get 2 essay drafts done (Victorians/Romantic module) as the date for final draft hand-ins is 5/1/15.Mine are on Charles Dickens/Hard Times and Mrs Gaskell/North and South; and a study on the works of Samuel Taylor Coleridge.  I read Hard Times during the summer - I haven't even breathed on North and South yet.  I have to read them through Marxist theory eyes as well.  I have had to email our Film/New Tech lecturer to push our deadlines closer to the end of January - I know that there are some of us that can't jam this all in i.e. 2 rewrites and a PP on Tim Burton (which includes a 2,000 word seminar paper) all during the Christmas break. I think even if I just took Christmas Day off, I would be pushing it.


My problem is that I over-think things.  I have written and emailed the reflective commentary. I vow to do better in the actually dissertation but I have come to a conclusion.  I have proved time and again that I am worthy of a first, but I run out of stamina pretty quickly.  Because of the time constraints and the amount of work, I really don't think that I can strive for so high for so long.  I think I will aim to do my best and not go loopy in the process.  Studying full-time eats into any life that you have and I want to still have my marbles in a jar when I get to collect the scroll, not burn out en route.

I am a little sad at this thought, but I need to be practical too.  A few people are hitting a wall as we speak and one has dropped out already, due to commitments.