April 21st, 2014

Black Dog

It's late at night and I have spent best part of the evening in bed. I think this bug has been too much for me. I am vulnerable to burn out. I tend to not eat properly, nor take proper breaks - sometimes I do not realise this until too late.

Then other problems start. I can't explain it - maybe it's the grind of writing essays and having massive writer's block, but I start to fray. I feel like fabric pulled so tight, that a rent tears in the middle.

What bothers me is that the assignments are taking longer to write - used to be about four days, now takes seven. I have 6 weeks left and I am already done, in regards to energies levels. I also find it so difficult to talk - not just the usual stutter, but that I have a wordless mouth.  Sometimes it is a plus, I tent to be able to write more - other times a worry, especially if I have got to the stage of burn out and I can't write either.  Whatever way, it is an un-sayable block, an ink-less pen, a stuck keyboard.

A Passage to India - Day 8

Done - I have completed the essay assignment at 3,120 and I will review it tomorrow.  As this is a rough draft, I will commit my thoughts to the research difficulties on my submission, with view to change things in the final essay. I am taking the rest of the day off and will look into TH3 when I see people on Wednesday.  Right now, I need air, good food and conversation where someone else talks and I just nod. Oh and I need to be nice to the cat, because I have scolded and rejected him once too often (usually involving walking over important piles of paper).

It wasn't to be - my little wind up car suddenly started complaining, then screaming and steaming in equal measure. Had to pull into a layby on the bypass and ring for help. Thankfully, Hubby and Prodigal 1 turned up and managed to get it home. Radiator leak - lucky that the bloody thing didn't terminally go bang. This, on top of the bug - Prodigal 2 has suggested that I am cursed. Maybe I am just unfortunate :-(