Mean As Custard (calico_pye) wrote,
Mean As Custard
calico_pye

D-Day

Image may contain: indoor
Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

By Rob J. Whitney

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.

It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many moron
s.
Tags: brexit, government, humour 2019
Subscribe

  • 50 Day Question Challenge 2018 - Day 23

    23. What was your best birthday? My fortieth was pretty special. I went to the Carn Brea Castle Restaurant, which had delicious Middle…

  • St Erth Recycling Plant

    Been a bloody awful day today within the Hayle area. First a very serious collision on the bypass, one person believed dead. Road still closed.…

  • Carn Brea Fire

    Last night, en route looking for the said Kindle Fire (I kid you not!), I left Pool (just outside Carn Brea) about 21:00. I had even taken a photo…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments