Mean As Custard (calico_pye) wrote,
Mean As Custard

Cold Comfort Cottage

For the comparatively warm part of the UK, it has been actually freezing outside. Our trusty thermometer was not just idly hanging on the damp fence, it was glued there by its frosted back. Yup - for a couple of days, it has read 0c (32f) and it has been a tad crispy out there. I know there are some of you who live north of the equator (and other areas)and have had snow since October. Therefore you must be wondering what all the fuss is about...

Us Brits panic when the temperature is anything other than tepid. I would love to say that the UK looks like this misted moorland with deers afoot, but in truth, our country goes from its 'green and pleasant' to being grey and gritty; the inhabitants wholly unprepared. Not to be caught out like year, all we need is one sign of rime, one flurry of flake and we head out to the supermarket and local DIY store, to combat the crap that's about to hit. Not exactly skating hazardously on ice as yet, we are more likely avoiding the pot holes that are prevalent here, since cuz the government don't supply enough tar or grit 'n' shit for this neck of the woods.

It has to be said that the cottage is practically mediaeval in its heating system. It boasts an aga and a small gas burner in the front room. And. Nothing. Else. Anytime you flip the switch on the electric fire, it either a) trips a switch in the fuse box and/or b) effectively burns a hole in our bank account. We create what can basically described as a 'Zombie Apocalypse Cupboard'. Whatever strange and wondrous things that can be bottled and canned goes in there. Ravioli, spaghetti bolognese, pickled eggs - yeah, I know - who eats this stuff? Prodigal 2 does, about half past four in the morning, when he can unfold himself from the frozen fetal position, unbend his duvet and chance the icy tiles of the kitchen downstairs. Once there, he will brave a can of five beans and heat it over aforesaid meagre aga top, warming his hands on the steam.

So I have taken to my summer collection. Sexy- not. Leggings, nightie, fleece, alongside two hot water bottles under two duvets. Everything maxed by the power of two. I am toast-squared instead of ice-cubed and keen to beat the temperature of my cold comfort cottage.

God help me when I need to use the loo.....
Tags: cold, subrosa_write, winter 2019

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