The Little Birds Fly

Down to the Calico Sea

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Nightmares of the Super Tired

This week, for some reason, I am super tired. The days are catching up with me and I come home, eat what is in front of me and then sleep. However, it is not the sleep of the super tired where you fall straight into oblivion. No. I am wracked with nightmares. In my cycle of bad dream, my treasured dolls house is stuck at someone's house and they have abandoned it, my mother's silverware and my sister's tin whistle are under their sink. Then it changes to my old family home, which is also abandoned. I dream that it is being purified by someone trying to ignite ti tree oil in a leaky old microwave in the middle of my old bedroom. The oil seeps into our old Indian carpet and we try to get all of it outside before the new owners take hold.

In both places, I felt unwanted, like I shouldn't have been there and that I should go and not come back. I wake up at 5 in the morning - a full 2 hours before I should, frustrated by my early awakening but knowing why these dreams have happened

Oh yes. It's because I can't say goodbye. I have a feeling that it will be worse in a week's time, because that will be when things come to ahead and I will be powerless to stop the inevitable.

I need to sleep properly. I need to treat myself better, too. I will come home early tonight and rest as well as sleep. I am not seeing enough daylight. I am taking time out at lunch and breaktime and make the effort to see some sky. The skin on my face practically drinks it in.

I need recovery.
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Thanks - conflicted times ahead :-/

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