Mean As Custard (calico_pye) wrote,
Mean As Custard

  • Music:

Tori Amos Weekend IX - Bells For Her

I wrote a short story called Blanket Friends, which (like Amos' intention of this track) is about the end of a friendship.  Now friendships can ebb and flow, some lose contact with little to no affect.  Others can be especially painful - for me, it was specifically one.  I had to write it out of my system, using the lyrics to Bells For Her.  It was such a betrayal, one I could not forgive.  Because guys aren't supposed to do that, do they?

Amos discusses her experience

"Bells for Her" is one of the most emotional moments on the record, because it handles the end of a friendship. You go through the life force and see how your friend walks out and you can't stop the things happening because of that, no matter what you try to do. Who tries to resist the life force gets sucked in. When you're confronted with a painful experience, a shocking deed of betrayal, you must be able to ventilate those feelings of anger and violence somewhere, but there are certain borders. You can't wound someone and just walk away. [Oor - January 29, 1994]

"Bells for Her" is the loss of a friend. From "Cornflake" to "The Waitress" to "Bells," "Bells" is the loss of -- and it's kind of backwards. I do the last thing first, and then the first last. But "Bells" is the spirit speaking, not the ego speaking, but the part of me that still loves a friend that for whatever reason you can't make a resolve. You just can't do it. The big lesson in this whole year is that there isn't a resolve for many things. [Baltimore Sun - January 1994]

I can wholeheartedly understand what she went through.  I haven't fell out with many people in my life, but when this one did, it unravelled years of history between us and I felt a pain that has never been replicated.  Like someone tore a strip out of my heart. When I drew how it felt, my heart had mandarin scar tissue formed on it.  I shredded both picture and story years later - but it is funny how somethings still sting.

and through the life force and there goes her friend
on her Nishiki it's out of time
and through the portal they can make amends

hey would you say whatever we're blanket friends
can't stop what's coming
can't stop what's on its way

and through the walls they made their mudpies
I've got your mind I said
she said I've your voice
I said you don't need my voice girl
you have your own
but you never thought it was enough of
so they went years and years
like sisters blanket girls
always there through that and this
there's nothing we cannot ever fix I said

can't stop what's coming
can't stop what's on its way
Bells and footfalls and soldiers and dolls
brothers and lovers she and I were
now she seems to be sand under his shoes
there's nothing I can do
can't stop what's coming
can't stop what's on its way

and now I speak to you are you in there
you have her face and her eyes
but you are not her
and we go at each other like blank ettes
who can't find their thread and their bare

can't stop loving
can't stop what is on its way
and I see it coming
and it's on its way

This is, something very similar has come full circle - and I (still) can't stop what's coming, I can't stop what is on it's way...
Tags: tori amos, vids 2017
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