And all through the house,
Every creature was stirring,
Especially the spouse.
The vision of sugarplums danced such a jig,
Spouse snoring as loud as a flatulent pig.
Prod 2 in his room making all a clatter,
Last vestige of peace is now all of a shatter.
Ms Pye wants to give their ear holes a flick,
And vows next year to elope with Saint Nick.