Today, my fellow class mates graduated with their BA English. I, however, did not. Because of a horrendous year last year (Hubby = cancer; Self - chronic IBS), I had to watch my grades slide; the only way I could get through was to ease up a bit and go part time. It was literally 'a-stitch-in-time' scenario and it did pay off. Yet, I see their faces today, beaming with pride and I feel like crap - especially since I have to go back next week and do the final sixty credits.
Thing is, I didn't see this coming. Don't get me wrong, I am so proud of them. Several of them have had to overcome massive hurdles to get there and it has all paid off. Except, I'm not one of them :-/
It's the train rides home and the impersonalisation of it all that gets to me. Makes me keyed up and it's not helped that I am gonna have to grow some and get back on the horse. I consol myself that I have grafted over the summer in regards to research, so I am not ill-prepared. I STILL don't know what I am going to write about - THAT bothers me. So, yeah. Am a bit in the doldrums. Thing is, I have to push myself forward because it will be ten times worse if i didn't see this through.