This literally is the only thing that has vaguely cheered me up today.
The late Alan Rickman has set about the face of death with some silverware.
The so-called Grim Reaper continued his utterly shite run of form in 2016 by taking the soul of the man who played Hans Gruber, Professor Snape and The Sheriff of Nottingham – literally the only outstanding thing in an otherwise middling version of Robin Hood.
“I took his arm to lead him away,” said a visibly shaken grim reaper, “and he looked at me, brandished the spoon and said ‘I am going to count to three, there will not be a four’, which I just laughed at.
“And then he leapt on me and jabbed a spoon right through my chest [...] I knew we should have frisked him on the way in; this is the guy who nearly killed Bruce Willis [...] Serves me right for fucking with the Half-Blood Prince, I suppose.”
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